Maybe you’re in a healthy relationship that you can celebrate.
Maybe you’re seeking a healthy and kind relationship. That’s great, be sure to read all of this blog and check out last week’s blog. See link in sentence below.
Maybe you’re in a relationship that’s draining you. Then check out last week’s blog on unhealthy relationship characteristics here.
Real love is kind.
Love is not scary, it’s supportive.
It’s not demeaning, it’s uplifting.
It’s not cruel, it’s caring.
A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice your family, your work, your goals, or your desires.
A healthy relationship will never require you to sacrifice who you are.
It’s important to look at the patterns in someone’s behavior. Too often we make excuses for unacceptable behaviors because other parts of the relationship are “so great.” Women are notorious for acting nice rather than meeting their own needs; they then pay the price the longer they wait.
Check all that you are experiencing in your current relationship. If you are not in a current relationship, then review this as a guide while you’re dating. Review it regularly, along with your values as to what to expect in a secure, healthy relationship.
- They apologize and change their behavior/actions to reflect taking responsibility.
- They express anger without demeaning, yelling or hitting you.
- Their behavior doesn’t warrant you having to make excuses about their behavior. You love how they treat you and are proud of that.
- When you’re tired or not feeling well, instead of demanding attention, they ask how they can, or directly offer help.
- Each partner trusts they can be vulnerable with each other without fear of backlash.
- When in an argument or conflict, they stay in the present instead of dredging up your past digressions that you happened years ago.
- In the early stages of dating, they let you go at a pace that’s comfortable for you. They respect your decisions when you say to slow it down, or when you say, “No, or no more, or “that’s enough.”
- You are enjoying the relationship, but if you wanted to leave, you feel confident you can leave without negative repercussions, threats or a major guilt-inducing trip to bring you back into a relationship that you know is not right for you.
- They respect your boundaries, and honor and respect what’s important to you.
- You both can playfully tease each other.
- They show you their love, care and affection without going to extremes to show it.
- There’s no “testing” you or the relationship. You don’t have to “prove” you care.
- Conflicts are resolved in an open, caring and supportive way for both parties.
- They don’t tell you how have to behave to make the relationship better. You each discuss your needs, and each person grows and changes to make the relationship grow and become better.
- You can be your authentic self with him without having to compromise your true essence.
- You’re relaxed and confident in the relationship, and know you can fully express yourself.
- They consider your perspective and opinion openly. You discuss each person’s point of view and you both accept that’s it’s okay if you disagree.
- You make important decisions together, such as where to go on vacation, major purchases.
- You can spend money without them watching over how every penny is spent.
- Their jokes are not demeaning, and if they say one that you feel is hurtful, they apologize when you tell them. And they stop the behavior.
- It’s clear that when something has upset one of you, you both can express your sadness, anger, frustration in a respectful way. There is no blaming or shaming.
- You have goals together, “together goals,” or “we goals.”
- When you share your thoughts and feelings, you know that you are heard and respected.
- You have the confidence to leave the relationship, if it’s no longer healthy for you.
- You feel comfortable asking for what you want.
- You work through your conflicts together.
- You honor, respect and support each other’s interests—professional and personal pursuits.
- You can state and enforce clear boundaries.
- You can express your feelings about an issue or situation, and he listens, and acknowledges your feelings.
If you haven’t checked most of these boxes, then it’s time to take the first step for you.
Take 4 minutes to complete www.FreedomFulfillmentQuiz.com
If you’ve been in an unhealthy relationship in the past, experiencing kindness in a new relationship may feel weird. You may have a hard time receiving and articulating what you want, and you may actually sabotage a good relationship. So…
Take the Quiz and reach out to me. Your life matters.
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for a deeper coaching.
TUESDAY 10:00 am. Pacific/1:00 p.m. Eastern for FB Live Coaching.
Join the group ahead of time at The Love is Kind Movement Group
(You can always catch the replay in the group!)